Did you know that you can choose how you experience transition? You can be a Coper or a Thriver. A Coper is someone who resists change, avoids it when possible, and lacks effective strategies to manage it when it occurs.
Here are the characteristics of a Coper:
1. Need for control
2. Mistrust, suspicion
3. Disconnect from spirituality
4. No sense of purpose
5. Victim thinking, blaming
6. Disconnect from feelings
7. Rigid thinking
8. Negative attitude
9. No healthy support system
10. Lack of balance
A Thriver, by contrast, is someone who grows and flourishes in the changes of their life; who embraces transition and even initiates it when needed.
Here are the characteristics of a Thriver:
1. Attentiveness
a) Self-Awareness
b) Commitment to growth
c) Internal motivation
d) Receptivity to new experiences
2. Groundedness
a) Spirituality
b) Support system
c) Resilience
3. Trust
a) Willing to feel
b) Comfortable with ambiguity
c) Trust their own process of growth
d) Self-nurturing
4. Proactive Purpose
a) Sense of purpose
b) Dreaming beyond practical
c) Proactive creation
5. Optimistic Confidence
a) Self-confidence
b) Playful risk-taking
c) Optimism
d) Flexible adapting
6. Systems Thinking
a) Systems perspective
b) Interactive experimentation
c) Humor
d) Balance
Which one are you?
Regarding the two opposing clusters of traits, the question has frequently been posed as to whether a person can be a Coper part of the time and a Thriver at other times. Certainly, we are all involved in the process of growth. However, I believe that using Coping behaviours is only advisable in two situations: (a) when you don’t know better – you haven’t learned that there is an alternative, or (b) when you lapse into Coping in a crisis because you can’t think of anything else to do at the moment. To consciously choose Coping over Thriving for any reasons is generally not in our best interest.
